i ended something super necessary last night. i mean. on one hand there was nothing to end. but it was still something that had to be said. it's just a horrible situation.
in other situations, i don't know how to win a guy over. this bothers me a lot. i think i tend to "date down" or date people that i think realistically i could do better than (you have no idea how horrible it makes me feel to say it like that, but i can't think of any other way to put it). but this one particular dude, who's got me kind of spun up right now, i feel like he's ridiculously out of my league in terms of what i actually deserve vs. what he deserves. like, if for some reason i could get him to give me a chance, i'd be constantly nervous that i was going to fuck it up somehow.
it's bad enough that i get drunk and talk about it, hahaha. i hate that i am so comfortable with so many of my friends that my secrets are between me and like 12 people. i just like to get their opinions. and from what i'm seeming to hear, this entire situation is totally backed. which is awesome considering the 10-12 months i've just had where nothing was backed at all.
ottobar tonight. i haven't seen in every room in so long and i've heard they're really improved. and then dancing, dancing, dancing! i hope this weekend is a successful one.
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