there's too much there sometimes

i want to re-do everything.
it would be awesome.

i would never have gone to college.
and if i had, it wouldn't have been for photography.
it would've been for some joke major that businesses all seem to find so amazing.
accounting, finance, business, etc.

i wouldn't have left philly.
i would've figured it out on my own.
that way i wouldn't have gotten involved with josh.

i would've worked more in high school.
that way i would've had some more experience in saving money.
i would've probably been out of my house by now.


i hate going through this thing with my job.
i feel like they look at me like i'm shit.
when in reality i'm not. at all.
i grew up with a bunch of people who turned into cokeheads, heroin addicts, alcoholics, junkies, and whores.
i never did any of that. it showed me what i didn't want.



i have no time for photography if i want to do things with my friends.
i don't even have the space in my fucking small ass room to do any studio type work that i want.
and even if i did have the time, i don't have the money to get film developed.
or the darkroom that my dad promised he would set up for me.


i want to go on vacation and never fucking come back.