it's like you're falling in love while i just fall apart

lately i really miss dave and josh (jones).
things keep coming up that bring back really strong memories with them.

i can't believe dave's been dead over a year now.
i still can't really fathom what could've made him feel like hanging himself was better than life.

i realized that i had been on the path to just shutting people out completely and giving up on people before they have a chance to prove it before dave died, but after that i kind of really lost it.

i don't know if it's possible for me to trust people or let people in that haven't already been around me long enough for me to realize that they don't plan on going anywhere.

i'm not even really making sense, i'm sure. just jumbling thoughts all around. whatever.


took my polygraph yesterday. pretty sure i passed.
went out and celebrated in fells point.
tony had to drive my car home because i couldn't function.
i'm told that i threw pizza at him while he was driving.
i also ripped my jeans from the top of my thigh down to my shin.
i woke up with them still on me. oh, life.
why can't everyday be like that? hahhh