you said i must eat so many lemons

the past week and weekend seemed to last a month long at least. on monday i was out of work because of snow and then yesterday i was outside in a tanktop loving life. oh, the east coast.

work is a little slow at the moment so i figured i'd take some time for a real update.

i'm glad warm weather is coming. i feel so much more sane when it's warm out. probably because winter always shits on me so hard, in every aspect: work/school; dudes; money; home.

i told tricia the other day that i think she's one of the best people i know, and while i feel like it's totally untrue, she said the same to me. i love her, foreverrrr.

sarah and i read livejournals we posted in 2005. saying we loved each other and we'd never fight and be shitty to each other like her and darcee. oh the things that time tells, hahah. it's so random looking back on things that were written/pictures that were taken years ago that tell the future and you have no idea at the time.


i really don't want to be cynical and skeptical anymore. 23 is too young for that.
i was telling esun about a book that i had made a few semesters back in my bookmaking class, about the people that have come in&out of my life and even though for the most part they've come back in one way or another (unless they are dead of course) they have all severely fucked me up and my outlook on things. i want it to change.


if i do what i feel like i'm heading in the path of doing, i'm going to end up hurting a couple people. and i feel bad about that, but i also feel like i can't keep doing the same shit over and over, i deserve more than that. on the other hand, i also don't feel like i deserve how i'm being treated right now. it's weird, i think semi-highly of myself, but i don't really see why other people do.



idk. i'm too vague on blog because it's public.