you're a long way from the place you thought you'd be by now

today is probably the worst day i've had in years.

if you asked me in high school where i'd be in 5 years...this is probably the total opposite of what i thought...and i've been out of school for 6 years now.

i live at home. i have not graduated college. i am single...sooooo far from being in a serious relationship. i do have a decent job...but i got that because my mom is friends with my boss.
i am probably going to fail at least one of the incompletes that i had to turn in today...which makes 4 or 5 classes i have left to take until i can graduate.

i feel like i'm so far behind on life. i wanted to be out of college, married or close to it, and working with photography.

i'm unhappy with my stomach. i don't want to hear i'm not fat. i know i'm not fat. but i'm not what i want to be. i want to be toned and in shape. i want to be tan. and i never want my eyeliner to smear on my eyelid after i put it on. sorry. that was a bit ridiculous.


i had a huge falling out with danny tonight. i've been taken advantage of for a long time. i didn't mind, because i love danny and i've seen the amazing person that he can be. but there are just too many times that he has no respect or regards for his "best friends" and their feelings. i just can't do it anymore. it really sucks. but being told that "it's pathetic that i cling to him like a lifeline" is pretty shitty. oh, and did i mention totally untrue? yeah.

fuck today.